I have noticed that every other woman I see hanging out with GayBoys(tm) is younger and prettier than me. I am beginning to worry that my Boys could do better. I have a nice car, and I have certain perspectives that can only really be bought with time and experience, but honestly I usually feel like I get more out of our relationship than they do.
In high school I had a friend who had a secret boyfriend. She was a soft, doughy, pathos-inducing girl whose stepfather was always left alone with her right before she “Tripped and hit her eye on the doorknob”, and he was a hunky popular boy who would be sweet as pie to her when they were alone, but would not acknowlege her otherwise. AND he had an official girlfriend, but they “weren’t close”.
They “weren’t fucking”, actually. Not my friend and this boy. They totally were fucking. But the matched set/popular girl was not putting out, so my friend got to be the secret girlfriend who did.
I watch our relationship for signs that I am a secret girlfriend. Not in the sexual intimacy sense, but in actual real-life measures: look at their FB timelines. I see myself, a goofy-looking elderly woman, grinning in the background of their lives. Roller skating with The Brunette. At pride with The Blonde. Our relationship may be inexplicable, ineffable, and a lot of other things that start with I-N-E and end with A-B-L-E, but there it is.
(Except I totally put out, eh)